You might say no, but science says yes. Here’s how to break your addiction and start feeling better right now. She was the classic good girl. Well educated, conservatively dressed, and immaculately put together with perfectly white teeth and nails to match. You know the type. An hour later her clothes were strewn across the room, while her heavy breasts pressed against my chest. Such is the power of outcome independence, one of the most important fundamentals that you need to master when it comes to dating, or getting an ex back.
Outcome independence is not what you think it is.
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Research focused on the consequences of teen dating violence have similar limitations causal connections between teen dating violence and certain outcomes. and not achieving independence; and; enter into violent adult relationships.
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It always seemed like a cop-out in a conversation, a way to end it without actually having to think. Outcome independence is one of the most powerful mindsets we can adopt. It applies to everything. Unhealthy because it causes stress and worry, and stress literally makes us less physically healthy. It also means our present and future happiness are dependent on something which may be completely out of our control. Counterproductive because stressing and worrying will hamper our present ability to function at our highest level to produce the outcome we hope for.
How to become confidently outcome-independent around women talking to a woman that you’d like to take out on a date this Saturday night.
Pandora at Sosuave has a conundrum for us to solve today:. You hear from one side of the argument to pursue your interests in life and women will come to you. Im not sure if men can even be totally indifferent to the power of pussy. But some believe the total indifference is the key to a fulfilling love life. I have found that if you are indifferent then you will get nothing and be celibate. The other argument is that you should not be indifferent at all.
This school of thought says that dating is purely a numbers game. Its similar to sales. The more women you meet the higher the likely hood of one of these women liking you. The more approaches you do the more lays you get. Simple statistics.
How do you not have your entire sense of self worth riding on if you have a good or bad night? We all have different psychological make-ups. There is no right or wrong, only what is best for you.
So how can one be outcome independent, and yet still work so hard on something When she suggested she was getting tired and ending the date I just said it.
Research over the last 20 years has provided an increased understanding of intimate relationships in later life; however, dating in later life remains largely unexplored. The purpose of this study was to examine the meanings of dating for women in later life. In this study, dating was examined through semistructured, in-depth interviews with 14 women ages 64 to 77 who had all dated in later life. Themes that emerged from an interpretative phenomenological analysis included multiple meanings of dating in later life, how dating in later life compared to earlier points in life, and dating in the future.
It is nearing two decades since Bulcroft and Bulcroft pointed out the dearth of information available on dating in later life. Although some research has been conducted in this area since the early s e. What is lacking in the area of later-life relationship research is an understanding of the meaning of dating. The purpose of this qualitative study is to enhance our understanding of how older women view and experience dating, including the meanings of dating, how dating compares to earlier points in their lives, and their desire to date in the future.
As recently as , Dickson and others pointed out the lack of information on older adults and dating, and in Family Ties and Aging Connidis, , the author laments how little is known about the dating experiences of adults in later life. The available research on dating tends to focus on the experiences of adolescents and young adults Dickson et al. In their groundbreaking examination of correlates of dating in later life, Bulcroft and Bulcroft found that the most significant factors related to the likelihood of dating were gender and age—women were less likely to date than were men, and people were less likely to date as age increased.
Skirmishes between British troops and colonial militiamen in Lexington and Concord in April kicked off the armed conflict, and by the following summer, the rebels were waging a full-scale war for their independence. France entered the American Revolution on the side of the colonists in , turning what had essentially been a civil war into an international conflict. After French assistance helped the Continental Army force the British surrender at Yorktown, Virginia, in , the Americans had effectively won their independence, though fighting would not formally end until For more than a decade before the outbreak of the American Revolution in , tensions had been building between colonists and the British authorities.
If you let your OI go completely out of control, you will start being an asshole with women and start shooting your mouth off on first dates about.
Even worse were the near-misses, the people who seemed amazing but disappeared into the ether after a handful of dates, or the Crouching Stud, Hidden Douchebags who seemed great at first glance but proved to be assholes in disguise. There were the dates that were so bad they crushed the soul, the long parade of assholes, game-players and just plain toxic individuals who would be better off buried in unmarked landfills inscribed with dire warnings to alert future generations to the dangers.
The components of dating — where to meet people , how to get to know them off a cold or warm approach the different aspects of attraction , even how to act on dates can seem pants-shittingly intimidating. Now I understand that trying to absorb and apply all of that information can seem overwhelming and conflicting.
One of the best ways to pick up a new skill is to, simply, break it down. Strip out the extraneous parts and just focus on the core. You can work outwards from there as you become more at ease.
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How can you be Outcome Independent , yet still want what you want? This is my desired outcome. I want this outcome. To achieve this outcome, I go on the dating sites, run through that process , go on a few first dates, and run through that process.
Just as it sounds, outcome independence is learning to be independent of the outcome of a situation, whether that situation is a date, a job.
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Well, I have good news and bad news for you. The good news: you can make a change. Well, if you do something only hoping for a certain result, then you are an outcome dependent person. You value the end more than the process, of which you may just be completely oblivious. When I sat down with him afterwards, he asked me how it was. I was dumbfounded. After all, I was out learning how to become a better man! It was all about discipline and results, results, results!